I or me?

The rule in two lines

Every clause has a subject, the person or thing doing the verb. The Style Manual explains that a pronoun used as the subject is in the subjective case (I, they), and a pronoun used as the object is in the objective case (me, them). Cambridge puts the same rule from the other side: subject pronouns go before the verb to show who is doing it, and object pronouns go in all other positions, such as after the verb or after a preposition.

With one pronoun alone, the right form is usually easy to hear. The Style Manual’s examples of mistakes both involve a pronoun paired with another person.

Corrected proofs

Four lines as they were set, and as they should be reset, each with the reason.

1. SetMy colleague and me travelled with the delegation.

   ResetMy colleague and I travelled with the delegation.

   The pair is the subject of travelled, so the pronoun takes the subject form. This pair of sentences is the Style Manual’s own.

2. SetMy manager sent their director and I an email.

   ResetMy manager sent their director and me an email.

   The pair receives the email: it is the object, so me. Also the Style Manual’s example.

3. SetMy colleague and myself travelled with the delegation.

   ResetMy colleague and I travelled with the delegation.

   The Style Manual says not to use a reflexive pronoun such as myself as the subject of the verb.

4. SetThe manager emailed myself.

   ResetThe manager emailed me.

   A reflexive pronoun needs the subject and the object to be the same person. Here they aren’t, so the Style Manual marks it incorrect.

A test you can run in your head

When a pronoun is paired with another person, the pairing hides the case. Taking the other person out shows it again. This isn’t a separate rule, just a way of seeing the subject and object more clearly.

1. Find the pair: “Sam and I” or “Sam and me”.
2. Strike out the other person and the and.
3. Read what is left aloud. “The editor thanked I” sounds wrong, and “The editor thanked me” sounds right, so the full sentence is “The editor thanked Sam and me.”
4. Run it the other way for a subject: “Me set the headline” fails, “I set the headline” stands, so “Sam and I set the headline.”

The same test settles phrases after a preposition. Cambridge’s grammar puts object pronouns after prepositions, as in “for me”, so the pattern is “between you and me” and “a letter to Sam and me”.

The forms side by side

From Cambridge’s table of personal pronouns, which notes that you and it have only one form. The Style Manual uses they and them for one person too, when a person’s gender is not specified or they use those pronouns; see singular they.

It’s me

Which form follows the verb be? Cambridge’s answer: object pronouns are used as the complement of be, as in “That’s him”, and it gives “It’s me” as the usual form, noting that “It is I” is not often used and is very formal.

Me in speech

Two everyday patterns appear in Cambridge’s description of spoken English. One is me as a short answer: “Who ate all the biscuits?” “Me.” The more formal answer is “I did.” The other is me as a subject after another subject and and, in informal speech: “My friends and me went on holiday”, or “Me and my friends went…”. Cambridge notes that “My friends and I went…” is considered more correct.

So the line falls between talk and print. In conversation, Cambridge records that pattern being heard. In writing, the Style Manual’s rule holds: the subject takes I.

Myself is not a polite I

Two of the Style Manual’s incorrect examples put myself where I or me belongs. The Manual is clear that a reflexive pronoun belongs only where the subject is also the object (“I emailed myself”), and not as the subject of a verb. If myself could be swapped for I or me without changing the meaning, one of those is the word the sentence needs.